when you know it's time to take a holiday

The thing about being an author, is that you never really have a break.

Even when you're in a low- (or no-) production period, there's more than enough to do--catching up on maintenance, accounts, tax, filing, acquittals, blog posts (like this one), mentoring, events, promo, marketing, social media, planning, committees, volunteering, applying for grants, reviewing, emailing, promoting others and their books and events, updating or upgrading your website, writing workshops, creating presentations, speaking, visiting schools, doing interviews, writing guest posts, writing articles, planning book launches, studying, honing skills, sketching, learning new digital art techniques, scratching the back of or liaising with beloved friends and colleagues--and, heaven forbid, perhaps writing new, un-contracted material.

Oh, and maybe washing your hair occasionally.

Weekends are never a break. An afternoon or evening off isn't a break. Sometimes you just need a good solid stretch of time--an official 'holiday'. Time in which to lie in. Read. Watch movies. Go shopping. Get into nature. Spend time with the family. Read.

Read.

Because it seems I've forgotten how to read. Not only because I rarely find the time but because my attention span, according to scientists, is now officially lower than a goldfish (humans - 8 seconds, goldfish - 9 seconds).

I'm also tired. Tired of the overwhelming (to the point of ridiculous) list of roles I need to fill as a 'modern' author. I'm tired of being too tired or 'clear' to create something special--and I have so much I'd love to work on (you're no doubt the same), I'm now existing in a state of 'would-SO-love-to-create-this-or-that' rather than actually DOING it. I'm so overloaded with 'potential, imaginary' work, I've found myself buried under it, with one arm poking from the morass, rabidly finishing off books that need to truly-ruly-real-life go to print.

Of course, we don't need to add to that morass the innumerable weeks and months spent waiting on submissions, the deeply heavy weight of 'almosts' and 'maybes', and that God-awful crusher--of which I seem to be particuarly brilliant at--being pipped at the post with an idea you have spent two years working on and/or have repeat-subbed, and see on the shelves the following year (done by someone else, just to be clear--NOT you).

I'm also really good at monumental effort. Like the four months I recently spent on the preparation of an illustrated manuscript submission. The one for which I'm still yet to receive an acknowledgment of receipt.

So, yes, things get heavy sometimes.

I love my work. I live and breath it. All I want to do is create--create my best work, learn and grown and delight kids wherever I can. That's all I want. You'd think such a gloriously creative and fun job would be perennially easy, but it's not. It's also not much fun to watch yourself slide from a positive, active, engaged person, to a haggard, exhausted and disillusioned whiner (ref: above text).

Of course, it's sacrilege to 'whinge' about it, so I'm doing it here, on behalf of everyone who holds it inside and pushes it down into that deep dark spot where it does so much damage. (Out, damn spot!)

In truth, anyone whose been in the kids' book industry for any length of time will be nodding vigorously by now. Studies show that being an author or illustrator is not only one of the loneliest professions (just google 'author lonely profession' and marvel at the endless articles), it's pretty much a career that relies on 'flying blind'. We rarely receive direct feedback, constructive critique or praise on work or achievements. We often don't know how well our books are doing, whose lives they're touching or how they are being received. This is why it means so much to us when people ARE in touch or do take the time to review. The happy tears shed over three positive words from a kid at a local school--it's rife in this industry.

We also live in a state of angst in regard to future work, the limited funds we receive, the way our work will be produced, if it will do well, if it will shortlist or win awards, how it will be received and if our publisher will want to publish us again, who will pan us, who will judge us (literally and figuratively), who might personally assassinate us (that's right, not even the 'innocuous' subject matter of most kids' books can escape the wrath of haters sometimes), who will be incapable of being happy for our successes, which government might sap more funds from our already strapped industry, who will continue to debase our industry/label it as unimportant, and most of all--will our beloved target audience fall in love with our work? Will it inspire, uplift and entertain? Because that's the most important thing of all.

Oh--how could I forget? Then there's the heart-thumping threat of uncertainty and rejection. All part and parcel of the author/illustrator life.

Quite naturally, all of this has a deeply psychological effect that can become deeply depressing. Yes, all jobs have their hurdles and challenges, of course, but creatives experience all of the above ON TOP of the regular challenges. Coupled with the well-documented depressive effects of living life online, especially in regard to social media (which many creators live by), it's so important that we heed the burnout signs, and just take a break.

A big one.

So, that's what I'll soon be doing. I feel poised on the precipice of great change, and I need to do some thinking about where I'm going and what I want to work on. I think being honest with ourselves and where we want to travel... what deeply attracts and calls us... is vital on our creative journey. Yes, it's tempting to do work that pays the bills and that might just 'get another book published', but I want to make the argument that it's SO worth putting in the time, having patience, and producing something spectacular. Quality over quantity is not only far more rewarding and happy-making, it's really important for a burgeoning career.

I like rewarding, happy-making and burgeoning.

I don't like running around like a headless chook, doing it all, pedaling like a duck, then looking up to see I'm in the exact same position as when I first dived into the river. Taking large blocks of time to hone your craft, work on a project of passion and recalibrate your direction is something that could truly change your life.

I didn't plan on this post becoming so philosophical and I certainly don't want it to sound negative. Here's a pretty picture to lighten the load... (at least I hope you'll find it pretty--I'm ever not so sure... another curse of the creator...).

I love my industry, I love my publishers, I love the people I work with, and I'm enormously grateful for the glorious opportunities I've had so far on this kids' book journey. But I don't want to reach a stage where applying for an office job (not that there's anything wrong with that) is sorely tempting. (Can sense more nodding going on.)

So, I plan to take at least three weeks' full holiday. Who knows--I may take more. I may take two months and surface in time for Book Week. I shall read and ponder and garden and walk and read and read and read and draw and read. I'd even like to just sit and close my eyes for a while. I may post here again, but it will likely be about muffins. Or my winter garden.

Then I shall return to All of the Above. And hopefully I'll be renewed and enthused and regenerated and a little stronger. We all need that every now and then, non?

Until then, go gently, my beautiful, creative souls. Take your time [out].

Tx

illustration styles for different types of books + dot eyes!

So, I've been a bit 'elsewhere' of late.

Had a few Life issues to deal with including the second brand new PC to blow up on me in two months (the first one lasted 3 hours, the second one 2 months and 3 hours--such quality!).

It seems the Universe has been trying to tell me something about the crappy Lenovo All-in-One I bought (highly do NOT recommend this machine), and instead wants me to have the custom-made, multi-screen Starship Enterprise flightdeck I really, truly need on this illustration journey (but cannot afford--I shall be planting a money tree in the morning).


While waiting to sort my computer issues, I've decided that tearing my hair out is not an option--it kind of hurts--so I've been catching up on other bits and pieces, like tidying loose ends, housekeeping and accounts and tax returns and acquittals and such. Yay. Creativity powering!

I've also been in talks about the possibility of illustrating a new book, and this got me to thinking about illustration styles.

I would want to use full digital artwork for this book. I did varying character samples and my publisher liked one in particular (the character is VERY cute) and yet I felt this character just wasn't the right 'fit' for the illustration style I envisaged.

I spent a few computerless days in deep thought about life, the universe, computers that self-implode twice in two months, which species of money tree grow the fastest, and about how I could adjust this character style to 'fit' with the rest of the book. But no amount of pondering helped. The fit just wasn't happening... and more than that, I just wasn't feeling the love. I think a big part of a seamless book creation journey is loving and enjoying it and feeling inspired to create in a way that resonates with you at the time.

My publisher is wonderful and she completely understood my ponderings, so I'll be shortly drafting up a scene that combines the changes we talked about (as soon as I get my Enterprise workstation that I'll pay for with buttons and matchsticks).

One of the changes I want to make to the character style is to have the whites of eyes, as opposed to dots. I ADORE dots. Anna Walker is the master of dot eyes. Ditto Bob Graham and Stephen Michael King--all masterful, with gorgeous, expressive characters. They are whimsical, sweet and oh so warm.

Anna Walker

Bob Graham

Stephen Michael King

But for this book, the look will be very modern and there will be no outlines on any of the characters or other components--and on top of that, I am not yet a master of eyes. I'm learning fast but I know my strengths, and eyes with the whites makes it a lot easier (for me, anyway!) to emote. And oh, how I love to emote.

Have a look at the boy at the top of this post and some animals (below) from my upcoming book, Australia Illustrated (November). You can see the 'character' and quirk white eyes bring. Of course, if the book I was creating wasn't super modern and fully digital and driven by characterisation, then dot eyes would work beautifully. There's no right or wrong.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that each book has its 'look' and its own style, and so many elements come together to create that style. What works for one book doesn't work for another, and that can extend to the medium used, the colour palette, the layout, the design and most especially the story. Is the story whimsical, imaginative, narrative, active, passive? What style best suits the themes and narrative type?

I sometimes see picture books where the narrative doesn't marry well with the imagery. It's not that the illustrator has failed to interpret the text. It's just that the style they've used doesn't marry visually.

Colour palette is HUGE when it comes to this kind of interpretation, as is the medium used. For example, watercolours in pastel colours marry well with sentimental storylines, and sharp, computer-generated imagery with quirky characters marry well with high-action picture books, movement and drama. Fairytales and fables marry well with high-detail and decorative elements. Humorous, dry tales marry well with simplistic imagery with either scant or zero background.

There is, of course, always exceptions, but understanding styles when illustrating text is vital, from the way characters will look (as I'm in the middle of doing) all the way through to your target readership.

Whatever book you're producing or plan to produce, it's also vital that you work in a style that makes your heart sing at the time. We do our best work when we either write or draw in a style we currently resonate with. For me, that changes all the time--and I'm grateful for that because it makes things so much fun.

Prediction: I bet my next book after this one will have dot eyes!

And to finish off, some birds that appear in Australia Illustrated, complete with their character-generating 'white' eyes.

(Footnote: donations of buttons and matchsticks happily accepted. Email me for sewing-box deposit details.)

Ask Tania: The work/life balance ... how do I write AND manage a household?

Dear Tania, 

My question is about making time to write amongst a day filled with jobs, family commitments and household tasks that just don't do themselves (sad face). How do I write AND manage a household? How do you do it?

Cate

Hi, Cate,

I would have to say this is one of the questions I'm most often asked! So it's clearly something a lot of people struggle with ... including me.

It's a convoluted topic, so let's break it down:

kids.
They say there's nothing like mother (or dad) guilt. Although I'm not a guilt-tripper by nature, as my writing has grown into full-time work, the seemingly endless hours I need to put into it has seen that sordid guilt trickle in. Ach--it's SUCH a pain.

The way I deal with it? I remind myself that mothers (and dads) need to be people, too. We also need to do what we love--and invest the time in doing it--and, REALLY importantly, to model passion and drive and commitment and hard work for our kids.

Neither of my kids go without food, clean clothes, a warm house, a great education and oodles of love. Sure, I may not spend endless hours playing Monopoly or watching blockbuster superhero movies with them, but they get my full attention when they need it or ask for it.

Admittedly, both are teens now, and pretty much do their own thing/are out a lot of the time. So, I know this is harder for women (or men) with littlies. When mine were little, I would write early in the morning or late at night or when Dad took them to the park--and I would actually write, not stack the dishwasher. I know this, too, can be hard, especially if you're exhausted. But, as I'll discuss shortly... it really comes down to How Much You Want It.

house.
When my kids were smaller, my house was perennially prepped for a Vogue photo shoot. Now, anyone I know is forbidden from doing the pop-in, lest they catch the six inches of dust under my dining table, the opaque glow of a long-unwashed window, and me looking like an old bag lady with limp hair, ugg boots and a stain on my top.

The way I deal with our house is this: everything has to be in its place, with a clean kitchen and bathrooms. Polished windows and floors, vacuumed furniture and beaten rugs are optional. Plant watering is as occasional as vacuuming and cleaning out fridges and cupboards. We certainly don't live in a pigsty, and I need our house to be uncluttered (for sanity as well as prettiness), but I decided long ago that dust under the bed is better left to accumulate and whisked away in a cleaning frenzy... whenever I get around to it.

I'm all about smarter not harder when it comes to freeing up time from the dreaded housework. I think the best way to do this is cull and declutter, then cull and declutter again. When you've finished doing that, declutter and cull. Basically, the less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to deal with. We all know how chaos derails sanity and sucks away precious time, but it also kyboshes creative impulse. So this step is vital.

I have lots of cupboards and containers and folders and I just stash everything in them until they're screaming to be sorted (or the tax agent is pestering). The only exception are things I know I'll have to deal with soon. I want them out of my head, so I pay a bill the moment in comes in. I answer emails straight away. I get niggly stuff done early in the morning so I have a full day of unfettered creation ahead.

As for the general tidy-up, I get up half an hour early and go into steam train mode... unpack the dishwasher, clean up the breakfast dishes, pick up the clothes, wipe down bathroom, etc. Then it's all done by 8am and I don't have to pass thought to it again, leaving that gloriously full day of unfettered creation ahead.

I abhor the pick-up. One great tip is to grab a laundry basket and run through the house, stashing junk in it, then run from room to room to deposit it. Speedy as anything--et voila--your daily workout!

If I need to run errands and make appointments, I slot everything into a single day then literally plan my route so there's no backtracking. If something happens and I have an hour spare, I might call a girlfriend to see if she's free for that long-overdue coffee. I literally pack in as much as I can and it's the ONLY time I'll make lists, so I don't forget anything. Yes, it's an entire day, but then absolutely everything is done, and I have 6 other full days to dedicate to creation.

Lastly, DON'T MAKE LISTS!!! (unless you're planning a gad-about day). The amount of time people spend on planning what they are going to do is frightening. Don't make lists about what rooms you're going to tackle and what items you're going to cull. Just cull! Don't plan. Don't talk about it with friends. Just do it!

Fundamentally, if you can't keep all you need to get done in your head, then you are doing FAR too much.

social life.
What's that? Seriously?

I look at my social life in two ways.

Firstly, I've had one. It was huge. It lasted almost three decades and I packed a lifetime into it (also paid the price for it, but that's another story...). I'm going to have another social life eventually, and I look forward to that very much. For now, though, it's about work, house and kids. It really is that simple (and don't simple concepts often evade us create types?).

Additionally, most of my social life is actually my work life right now. The majority of active friends are my colleagues--and I find myself frequently interacting with them (mostly online, sadly), so I certainly don't 'want for' social interaction.

The second way I look at it is this: a hole-in one is absolutely possible. The only thing it's dependent on is how many times you're prepared to hit the ball.

That's how I see my career. If I want to get a hole-in-one, I need to keep at it--I need to put the hours in and work hard. And that takes time. Ergo, I need to compromise other parts of my life to make writing, family and health my absolutely priorities. It means I have to compromise on other things like travel, beloved hobbies, training for the national rolling-down-hill championships, and ... a social life.

It won't last forever. It is what it is.

work.
If you work full- or part-time at another job, prioritising your writing is even harder, of course. But again--let's get real here--it depends on how many times you're willing to hit that ball. On how much you REALLY want it. They say that people will absolutely commit time and energy to something they really, deeply want. I'm not saying it's easy--but it's a choice. There's always nights and weekends and holidays.

social media and emailing.
Yes. We're going to have THAT talk.

It's a time-sucker... but much, much more than you even know, because not only do we spend too much time on these things, we also spend far too much time thinking about them, and having them quash our creativity, especially if we've become despondent, frustrated, furious, desperate or railroaded by the information we're subjected to online.

If you have to install a net nanny, then do it. But suffice to say that social media is only a neighbour, not a friend. It's someone who's always there and is happy to wave hello and have a quick chat, and maybe even spread the word, but that's it. So treat it like your Sometimes Neighbour. Don't be tempted to turn it on when you have a brain freeze. Go for a walk instead. Have your time with it, exchange some information, then wave goodbye and get back to your real life.

Don't check social media first thing in the morning. Don't check it last thing at night. It's creativity- and sleep-crushing in every way.

Emailing--honestly, we are killing ourselves. Fifteen years ago, how many letters did you write in a week? Maybe one? If that? Then why are you sending 35 letters + a day? Why? it's nuts!

So, stop it. If you simply must email, make it succinct, and do it all in one hit. Then turn off email so you can focus.

One last tip I have on emailing, I respond to 99% of them immediately. Leaving them waiting/hanging over your head is a sure fire way to clutter your mind and add to that seemingly endless 'To Do' list. Just rip that bandaid off and respond straight away. Get it over with. If you're writing succinct emails, as you should be, it won't be a big deal, and then--voila--it's done--and out of your head.

Responding immediately also sets things in motion, and when you're a writer, that's exactly what you want. And in terms of your recipient, there's nothing worse than waiting days or weeks for someone to respond to something that could take 2 seconds. It quite literally drives me insane sometimes, especially as we're using email like an office situation... if a colleague approached you in-office and asked you a quick question, would you just sit there and ignore them for three weeks? No. You'd respond immediately.

health.
Now, this one, you simply CANNOT compromise. No way, no how. I try my hardest to eat well (stacks of plant foods and unprocessed foods and a daily green smoothie) and physically move whenever I can. I go for at least one walk a day, plus yoga, and hopping up from my computer to wriggle around, every hour, on the hour (also see Keeping Physically Fit as an Author).

I also take care of my head and heart by taking time out (I was going to say 'to do what I love', but most of what I love is writing, illustrating and reading, ie: work!), visiting a naturopath, shunning the news, avoiding conflict and drama online (ie: the news) and in life, and living as balanced a life as I possibly can.

This is all non-negotiable, and looking after your health means you'll sharpen your axe, and be in a fresher, more lucid, more productive, more creative frame of mind for your work.

your creative pursuit.
Writing. Illustrating. Editing. Presenting. Whatever it is that sends your heart aflutter, needs a lot of commitment and time, and there's NO shame in that. But the bottom line here is TIME.

You just have to give it time. Schedule it in your diary, if you must, but just DO IT. It really is that simple.

I tend to get 'other things' done first thing in the morning so I'm free for the rest of the day to create. That would include things like emailing, prepping presentations or other material, reviews, media, blog posts (like this one, at 9am in the morning) and appointments. Then I have the rest of the day unfettered--and for me, that's an ideal way to work, as I need and love long blocks of uninterrupted time.

Don't talk about it. Don't make lists about it. Don't email people about it--especially long-winded emails. Don't faff and plan it. Don't make excuses and don't FEAR it. Sit down and just do it--dirty hair and a stain on your top and dust under the beds and all. Don't wait 'until'. Don't procrastinate. Don't be distracted. Close the door. Turn off the phone and email. Create. The blocks will evaporate if you push through, and you'll enter the flow.

your daily schedule.
I think daily schedules really help us get maximum output for our time. Spend half an hour going over a schedule that would work for you (of course, some days will railroad it, but that's okay). Then stick to it. For inspiration, here's my daily schedule that I stick to (most days!):

6:30 am
Up and into the kitchen, make tea, prepare the family smoothie, unpack dishwasher, make beds, tidy things away, turn on computer, perhaps do my hair and face (not every day!), see the kids off to school.

7:30am
Yoga and/or a walk.

8am
Check emails and social media while I drink my smoothie.

8:30am
Make a coffee and work on 'other' stuff, if needed (today it's this post).

10am
Turn off email and social media, start creating and don't stop.

Get up on the hour every hour to exercise a little.

1pm
Eat lunch.

3pm
Check emails and social media.

4pm
Kids home some days and other days they are out. Continue on with work, if doable.

5:30pm
Prep dinner, spend time with family.

8pm
Return to work if in deadline or the evening situation allows it, but most nights, I take time off.

10.30pm
Bed. Read. Fall asleep despite eyes wanting to stay open to read.

At the moment, I work 7 days a week, but again, it depends on what else is happening, who's home, if we have something planned, etc. For me, it's not 'work'--it's pleasure, so 7 days is not an issue. I've lost count of how many times I've been asked how I 'get it all done'. That's how!!!

conclusion.
Stating the bleeding obvious here--everyone is different, and you need to take the time to formulate a plan that works for you, your commitments, goals and lifestyle.

Whatever the case, the simple fact remains--you just need to dedicate the hours to your craft, and shun as much as you can whilst still remaining balanced and healthy, and--of course--without the wheels falling off the house and family (though unpolished wheels are just fine).

How many times are you willing to hit the ball?

See all the questions so far ...